C'm'on

Speed Limits

We're a Nation, if not a developed World of time watchers; speed, efficacy, ease of learning; no time, need to do it now; to have done it 10 minutes ago. A new model is coming out. It's under development but I want to see it now. Human kind is going to Mars; are they there yet? The train leaves at 0713hr (not bloody 0715; else we'll be late). Just tap those Ruby Slippers together 3 times and you'll be as good as back at home without so much as the need to blink through the transdimentional pathway as you instantaneously appear in front of your microwave to cook chips inside 3-minutes flat. This isn't a new state of society; I remember Brains Faggots* heated in a gas oven was the height of convienience in the early '70s, and to my math that'd put 60 to 70-year-oldsters in the realms of instigators of haste; the inventors of rush, and the executers of swift time. Then why must these not-yet-old teats swan about in their safe Nissan Micras at 35 and 40mph in a zone where 50 to 60mph are legally available???!

Let's be honest, if your driving along at the head of a train of cars 30 or more units in length it's probably because you are driving more slowly than anyone else on the highway. That makes you an extreeme in the local sense and liable to be singled out as different. That's why in that situation you become a twat; because you are no longer the norm, you're abnormal, outside the communities' measures of acceptable behaviour and just plain too darn slow. You should expect a reaction, demonstration, or minor abuse if only at best.

Now conceptualis that time is important. We don't have much of it between the start and end of our lives, never mind between finishing our copied Weetabix-a-likes and clocking on. We leave home just a little late: about the time that any later is late. We judge the traffic against route, expected type and density for the day, and our abilities to guide our vehicles along the narrow strips of Tar Macadam surfaces between the trees, pavements, and dodgy smelling road kills. This is science in action, functional skills unifying the 3Rs in harmony, us taking risks against that which waits for no man; yes, time. Time is precious and it's always running out. We need to hurry before there's no time left and no delay is acceptable. Push on, squeeze the throttle just a little harder, change gear just a little higher around the tachometer, and trust those Tyres as much as we trust fate to look after us through the rush day traffic.

Why then, does the blue-rinse mob not feel any harm in their holding everyone up? And it's not only Micras with senior citizens but horse boxes, dust carts, and artic' trucks run by hauliers on too tight a margin to be able to afford staying on the Motorway where they God Damn belong!

What? I'm moaning? F£&k sure I am, I'm freaking livid to recognise what a bunch of selfish twats these groups are in holding up these lines of innocent commuter traffic. Moreover, that their causing conjestion is obviously causing more fuel to be used as drivers keep to lower gear ratios in the hope of zipping by around the next corner and yet there is still no effort to pull over and let the rest of the World pass.

"You should have given more time to your journey". Balls, there's another 10mph plus 10%+ 3mph available and YOU choose to ignore it; what? On our behalf? You bastards, you're delaying me an inconsequential-to-you 7 minutes on this leg of my journey, you're blocking me from overtaking everyone safely as the cars don't leave sufficient space between them cause they've gone all territorial cause you've so wound them up destroying their contingencies by being so dumb slow (Gits). 7-Minsk on this leg, 10 on the one before, and doubtless another 10 if you stay on the road (ram them!)

advice for slower road users:

A. Drive at the Speed limit as minimum
B. Any more than an invisible car creeps up behind you and you let it go by instantly by pulling over safely
C. Stay off the damn roads until after lunch and again from 4pm

I don't want to appear vindictive, insensible, our over zealous but we might also revisit who should have a licence; perhaps only allow 20-50-year-olds on the road and make the older people take the freaking bus.

Just stay out of our way. Weirdos.

There will be typos here as I don't even have time to sort out a new ISP and iPhone, good as it is, so squeezed in this as an interim. See? No time. Proof if needed that 50mph max is the minimum standard. Push 60mph and you may have respect, too.