Why choose the Honda Deauville?

Why Dilbert?

3-years ago, on announcing that I was going to ditch the "tin box" (NEVER call my Alpha that; it's a superior piece of automotive architecture) many of my colleagues and mates turned out to be seasoned bikers; rockers, hell-raisers, ponces, and tourers: each recommending the best machine with which I should acquaint myself as a middle-aged commuter.

Conflicting Advice

“You want...speed...lightweight...low seating...good cornering...fast as fcuk...big luggage...no luggage...plodder...tricycle...Japanese...British...Italian...Chinese (but NEVER American)”, you get the picture. Everyone’s an expert and no one knows anything. Most seemed to want to see me killed or to live out their own experience.

Bad Driving

I can take advice but for this purpose I knew I needed some independent thought. Driving the Alpha 50-miles each way each day was taking me back to Road-Rage. The National speed limit on a single carriageway is 60mph so why the fcuk can’t the “train” of cars and lorries exceed 40mph? Slow moving traffic can cost me up to 30-minutes of my life over the commute. 30-minutes each way – up to an hour each day (you thoughtless bastards).

Even the Highway Code states to pull over if you’re slow to relieve mounting congestion behind; but, no. Perhaps travelling 2m behind the slowest vehicle is a state of mind? Guarding your personal space. But at 40mph just why don’t you overtake OR leave me some room to overtake each of you safely in turn? But NO, I have to take on a line of traffic 12-cars long – and if oncoming traffic appears and makes me need to pull in safely, will you let me?

Again, no. You selfish, puddle-minded, hypocritical bastards. And worse still? 40mph throughout your journey followed by 40mph through a 30mph zone! Gits.

So you might be able to see that car driving is becoming stressful and the chance to “filter” through the dick-heads in average cars can be attractive to a faster car owner?

But, why Dilbert?

Joules was going with the passion and power of an Italian bike - an Alpha on 2-wheels, perhaps, but then swapped pace to a race-replica Suzuki 400 thing that Spike has lying about his garage. Ian, a Pan-European plodder, saw my choice of a CBR-600 going a long way to seeing me spilled on the tarmac but with only excellent learning outcomes. Mark recommended I get his Triumph cruiser; then promptly fell of it at 135mph (15mph in traffic, to be honest) and did a “W” of fractures so he couldn’t hold his Johnston for a piss. Taff; well anything he suggested involved popping wheelies and going so fast as not to make the roundabout, never mind scraping a knee as I'd end up loosing half my arse. An SV-650 was the closest we came to agreeing on something I could keep the front wheel down on.

Best advice came from Bob. Bob, another Pan-Euro fan with a yearning for Harley’s, pondered a while about my fear of 2-wheels and my respect for their exposure to trauma, but also recognised the 50-miles each way commute required something sensitive to a beginner as well as comfortable over the hours of the week riding it. The Deauville was offered for thought – just a suggestion, something to reflect on. Both being connected with Trauma hae also aced me with, "it's what's used for paramedics, you know, so it's got to be good in traffic and safe to handle?"

On seeing a big black Deauville in a local lock-up I wrote the idea off quickly: it was very wide of luggage and long in plastic and exuded the machismo of Grecian 2000 and dancing on ice. In the same way I see Harley’s to be a way to claim you’re Gay, I saw the Deauville as a declaration of advancing age (a point of view often taken by the Press). However, on reading up reviews on the CBR-600, NT650V Deauville, and a BMW R, or K-something and advice off the net not to jump onto a Superbike, the Deauville began to nose ahead of the competition.

Reviews were much better than the jockeys assumed and were not mixed at all. Have sportsbikers write them off in a colloquial sense without any evidence simply coz their mate reckons...but Deauville owners, now there’s a cunning breed. They all seem to love them for what they are designed to do – to ride.

Each reviewer agreed the Deauville to be short of a ram-jet and NO2 injection, but also allude to the ability for the bike to overtake when required. Sportsbikers complain, “yeah, only if you knock down a gear”. Well, your bike probably has six gears – you frightened to use them, or something? I almost always use my lower gears to overtake in the Alpha – it’s what gears are for, isn’t it?

So my needs were easily made into a list:

• Not too powerful
• Able to be held upright by little-old-me
• Able to carry some luggage if required (like spare rain gear, locks, and such-like
• Able to restrain my riding to safe limits
• Frugal on fuel (Alpha costs £20-a-day for fuel alone)

• Cheap to ensure as a newbie
• Good protection from weather for winter / summer rain, etc.
• Cheap enough so if I do drop it, it’s not too much of a disaster (hmm, must check medical insurance)

Do you know what? The Deauville meets all of these and not ONE other bike did so; not even the SV650 from Suzuki, which I admit I’m quite keen on. Any bike suggested as an improvement on the Deauville was generally considered as an upgrade to it once the rider had found their feet in the biking World.

It’s a damn good bet on paper that the Deauville is the exact match to my specification.

On top of all that I found it in white with full fairings, huge luggage, and cheap for the year. Okay, it has got 67K-miles on the clock, and I could have bought one 2-years younger with a third the miles for only £400 more, but if I’m honest and once Dilbert and I had hooked up at Barclays (of Bournemouth) I just knew he was the bike for me. I drive an Alpha; I have a passion for my cars and now I felt there was a bike that could control my speed-freaky manner and deliver me safely from door to door.

Dilbert it was.