BOO - HISS

Owing The Wife (Clever me!)


Honda's Immobilising Security System (HISS) is fitted to Dilbert, which makes him a slightly younger model than I thought and explains why he came with only one key - because they're expensive.

While I played video games at work (yeah, right!)Ka went to Portsmouth Motorcycles to pick up the £22-50 key blank for Dilbert and ran it across town to Advance Locking Locksmiths on Stokes Road where their excellent technician span his craft around Dilbert's broken key to cut to the blank. They couldn't help code it, though, although an attempt was made. 'You know, they only charged £3! Bless them.

I arrived home and sat the key in the ignition and turned it. All lights on. Good. Clever locksmiths! I pressed the ignition button - engine turned over, choke applied, no sparking? "Perhaps it's the immobiliser", through in Ka, like she's a biker's chick, or something. In fact, I noticed the little green light in the consol with a key icon on it remained on. Normally it turns off after a couple of seconds. (Ah, ha! This is a HISS indicator!)

Now, I know HISS works off a transponder but I wasn't sure if this would be powered by a charge through the key, would deliver a coded pulse through the key, or act in a dumb way like those chips injected in to dogs behind their neck - as recommended for children and hoodies. So I tried lying the old key against the barrel, tuning the key in against the new key; anything in fact to avoid a £40 bill to have the new key coded in Portsmouth once they'd lifted Dilbert over there and charged double for the taxi service.

Nothing worked. Time for tea. Reflection.

Back to Google; search, "honda hiss key code". Actually, not much came up of any use; usual forums full of bright kids with f&ckk all better to do (which is better than being a hoodie, children) than swap shit in 2-line sound bites. But one described the transponder sitting in the fob under the "foil" Honda-branded cover sitting in a bed of silicon. Hmmnnnnnnmm.....

Ka's Balls


So, do I open the old one to look-see what it's all about - cos if there's no electrical contact - and perhaps if there is - I could swap the transponders over? And if I'm happy at that part do we gamble ruining a £22.50 key against not spending £40 to re-code the new key and another £30 to recode a spare? Hmmmnnnnmm....

Ka added her expert female opinion, "Go on; dare you!" I dared. Using a jeweller's screwdriver to make it look like I knew what I was doing in front of the children I levered up the foil cover and picked away at a glop of goo like I was on Time Team, or something. Tongue sticking out, brow furrowed, but without the wide-brimmed silly Gloucester hat or accent, I eased the transponder from its resting place of nearly 10-years and triumphantly showed off my expert prowess to the family. "Is that it, Daddy?"

The delicate archeology..

Now for some man-sized ball swinging. With Ka's encouragement I opened up the new key, revealed the transponder, and immediately recognised this one is BIGGER! Will that make a difference? "Size isn't everything, Dear", said Ka, helpfully; turning away thinking I couldn't catch THAT snigger. Hmmnnnnnnmm....

I placed the bigger transponder into the old key, stuck back the foil, and we readjourned to Dilbert's side. Key inserted; key turned, button pressed, and we have lift off.

Now all I need do is:
    a. Go to work on Dilbert tomorrow (hooray)
    b. Order a new key
    c. Take Dilbert to Portsmouth Motorcycles to get it coded
    d. - z. Keep the darn keys safe


HISS. You know it makes sense, and Honda a whole lotta lolley, too. Boo! (Hisss)

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