Dilbert's Service

Dilbert's BIG Moment

Saturday. Ka chucks kids in the Lanny and I peel off behind them toward Taylors' in Droxford.

I followed the guys in to Fareham but Ka opted to go through town while I went round the by-pass, easily overtaking them, needing me to wait for them off the Motorway junction. The it was off with the family in tow, my Son very excited to begin with then desperately unhappy that I didn't actually jump cars or pop wheelies.

Out of Wycombe and the traffic was pretty slow but I didn't want to enter a race with Ka because she's a competitive sort and wouldn't take many prisoners from the blue-rinse mob in front of me. At the Alpha garage on the A32 a gargantuan white Yanky limo was reversing across both lanes and our traffic flow stopped to let the tarmac greedy bastard shift out the way. I qucikly passed the queue and went for a blat.

In explanation, the wind was near zero so I needed to conduct another screen experiment so needed to get up some speed (Honey). All seemed well (slow for the bridge S's) so I opened up on the waterworks straight, too. (Slow for the S's). By the time I accellerated out of the trees the Lanny was back in the mirrors (I told you she's competetive) and as I slowed for the junction curve (a wise thing to do, I feel) she just kept her foot on the gas and let the tyres speak for themselves.

Once over the rise and where I could see a clear road on the slight slope down into Droxford I pulled back hard on the throttle through 70mph and trying to find a point where the wind was uncomfortable. The hedgerows stretched out to either side of my periphery and the road suddenly became a hell of a lot shorter - this is the speed I'd do in the Alpha when clear, but it felt three-fold as quick on the bike. But, it was too exillerating to wind back down too quickly - I knew I was going to miss Dilbert while he's in for servicing, so couldn't resist a little trial of speed.

Down through the gears into the 40mph zone; slow to 35mph for the blind junction left (easily catches you out, even in a car) and coasted up the incline when, "whoosh"; out jumped a freaking pidgeon on a downward trajectory calculated to end in a ball of feathers in my face. I ducked.

(Reconstruction - no flocking flying rats were harmed in the production of this image)

Ka says my duck should be legendary; the duck that saved the rat-pidgeon thing. I say, after that pheasant thing the other day, it's a good reason to put that tall screen back on! I believed Dilbert would bring the birds flocking in, but this wasn't how I had imagined it.

A cool kind of duck

Anyway, all too soon for such a lovely day I reached Nige's and dropped Dilbert off into his diligent care. The drive home in the passenger seat was pretty glum and I got told off for playing with the electric windows.