Ruefull Rozzers

Police Policies?

On my first trip out up the A32 / A31 I came back down to the A32 / A31 junction to come upon statioary traffic in both lanes South. I filtered (bravely, for the first time) through the centre of them and became suspicious of something unusual about the queue as people were beginning to get out of their cars and do that "lost poodle" look.

I missed most of the opening doors, uncontrollable women, and meeker minded blokes alighting from their carriages, but toward the front I saw a smart delineation between queue and open rod across both lanes and a big-fat yellow bike rider (the bike, he was average) hailed to a stop by a bored housewife, or something.


Is it me getting older, or...? (picture taken of the actual PC in question - to scale)

Shortly, I noticed there had been a bit of an accident; a battered old green car (battered now, anyway) had obviously been driven badly by some youth and cracked into an electric totem pole, which had cracked, collapsed, and draped his bush-encrusted motor in cables. The twin cables hung at bollock and head height across both carriageways. I think speed was a contributory factor, myself (smug).

I stopped, and offered assistance to an officious Police off-duty couple wearing fluorescent tops and black spandex pants - she looked good (if a bit blond), he looked knobbly. It was very quickly obvious the cables might present a risk of a barbecued Pat, so I shouted some sense at the guy lolling around inside his car.

"Are you injured?"
"No."
"Can you get out, then?"
"No."
"Are you trapped by a bit of your body or by the car?"
"No."
"Are you getting as bored as I am?"
"Yes".

I gave up and re-secreted myself beneath the power lines to watch the big fat bike rider give up trying to side-stand his beast on the verge next to the Sanya and put it back on the tarmac. As the sirens had approached one 4x4 driver had tried to TURN AROUND and hit another car trying to clear out the way (crutch) so it was safer on the verge, I assure you.

He was a nice bloke: open for a chat and we piss=took our way through an hour of the Police not allowing us to duck (back) under the cables for risk of blowing up and making a mess - even AFTER an ambulance crew-person had already head-butted the lower cable with his sweat-covered bald patch. As he didn't steam or break dance across the tarmac we made the safe assumption there was no current crossing the cables.


These country cops are scruffy bumkins

One Rozzer, a scruffy triffic traffic fella formally of Gosport, took my and my new compatriot's details, opening with, "Are you witnesses?"

"No".
"Did you see what happened?"
(Is this a test?) "No, we've just filtered through the queue".
"Are these bikes registered to you?"

The big fat yellow bike rider looked horrified and quickly made it clear we weren't, "together" and both of us gave our details. The Rozzer missed the fact that, surrounding us, were the front six rows of cars that lined up immediately after the accident. Taking our details was akin to asking Heikki Kovalinen how he felt about being at the front of the grid for the start of the Monnaco Grand Prix 2008.

This is a Police policy, is it? To check up on the legality of the bike riders while assuming all car drivers are taxed and tested to the hilt? Hmm. This is a side to biking I don't find palatable in a non-police state.

Note to all Rozzers doing traffic

What's the Law here? Ask me for details willy-nilly again and I'll make sure you stay up all night doing extra paperwork (unless it's you Al). Baffoons. Leave us alone and go pick on those twats speeding up and down our road in their sports cars that go much faster than we can! Oh. Hang on. That'd be me again, wouldn't it?

Keep up the good work, guys.

Dangerous Poles

Now I'm not going to hark on about the dodgy temporary staff in Thetford's Woolworths, but abouth that telegraph pole. The car hit it at its base at what I'd guess to be the last 30mph of a 85mph skid and brush up against the scenery but it broke at its middle like struck by lightning.

So, watch out for dangerous poles at the side of roads. (Again, I do not infer all poles are dangerous, some are nice people, I'm sure, just like my Great Nan, GBHS. And here's a pole that's bound to cause an accident if it was at the side of the A31 Alton by-pass: dangerous to anyone with a by-pass, I expect!

Ever the medic

Some notes: the Fire Brigade (for whom I have nothing but respect) took an AGE to get access to the car's passenger door with cutters, chisels, and big hammers, and all. The ambulance crew stood idle by (except our balding hero looking to stimulate his hair growth under the cable). Why didn't they elect to long-board through the rear window? In the end, it was a HEMS-looking medic who climbed in to give assistance to the bloke who had told me only an hour before, "I'm fine".

I don't know what it was; the weather, the shock, or rural Hampshire, but I don't think I have met such a consistently stupid bunch of people all in one spot since I left the Army.